“DANM…YOU ARE COLD”
I had these exact words uttered to me once. The satire part is that they came from a guy who had the audacity to reach out to me on his girlfriend’s Facebook messenger after I revoked his complete access to me. Whew! That was a pretty loaded sentence and surreal just typing that out. Here’s a little piece of wisdom, when it comes to people who take you for granted mixed with covert narcissism, logic takes a backseat on the bus driven by their inflated ego.
In all seriousness, if you ever find yourself on my block list — you will be eradicated from my frequency even in the most minuscule aspects.
Long story short…Too much too late
& Good riddance!
This is not a piece about loss, in a way. It’s about the room we make for ourselves to emerge by decluttering from certain people and the guilt that follows immediately after.
Over the years, I have collected a motley crew of characters in my journey. Some people end up being like those colorful puzzle pieces that perfectly fit, while others are more like that bizarrely shaped piece you try to force into the wrong slot, only to realize it doesn't belong. You know what I'm talking about—the ones who drain your energy, stomp on your dreams, make jokes at your expense, mask projection as criticism, gossip about your shortcomings and consistently put their own needs ahead of yours.
From a very young age, I have always taken great pride in being highly discerning about the individuals I allow into my inner circle. I possess an inherent knack for recognizing those who are not aligned with my values early on and when someone is not my cup of tea I make it abundantly clear. As crazy as it sounds, I never really fit in with the "cool kids" due to my penchant for spending a lot of time in my own little bubble, I certainly didn't find myself relegated to the role of an outcast either. Instead, I would describe myself as a highly selective popular loner. One aspect of my character (A blessing and a curse) that has consistently served me well is my ability to engage in effortless small talk with anyone and to that I give full credit of being a gemini rising. Even with such a heightened sense of discernment, I recently found myself pondering on why I attract certain dynamics in my life — connections where I'd been treated merely as a convenience. Through the invaluable gift of introspection,I recently discovered that deeply embedded in me was a people pleaser *** Now that I've unpacked some pretty serious stuff with strangers on the internet. Let’s talk about the self undoing that comes after that harsh realization and the painful steps yet necessary ones to remedy the issue at hand“What’s love got to do with it?”
Here's the thing: I genuinely don't care about a lot of people. But when I do, my love knows no bounds. Measuring my love in such extremes doesn't signify insincerity. You see, my love has always been conditional, a lesson learned from being emotionally bankrupt in the past. Whether it's my attachment style or not—as my TikTok for you page would have it—there's nothing wrong with sharing your love sparingly, especially in a world where genuine people are scarce.
Now, I'll admit, I haven't always been a perfect friend. After all, we're only human. However, I can confidently say that I've never been an incredibly shitty friend to the point of no return, even with those whose ego won't allow them to admit the truth. The rule of thumb with me is simple: you get to genuinely experience me once. Anything that follows after you think you can take advantage of me is a reflection of your own character.
It took me 25 years to acknowledge the significant role I played in allowing certain people to mishandle me. As a result, I unblocked my throat chakra and decided to make it everyone's problem. Ignorance is only bliss when you're content being a doormat.
Love actually has everything to do with it because, for me, everything I do always starts with love and, ironically, always ends with love.
I have developed a habit of tallying up the snarky behaviors to which people subject me, until one day, I reach a point where I decide that enough is enough and completely cut them off. This act, to me, represents the ultimate expression of self-love. Though, severing ties with cherished individuals due to their toxic behavior is undeniably disheartening but a painful necessity. Saying, "It's not my responsibility to fix this," and cutting off a longtime connection is uncomfortable. I have experienced this firsthand, both as the one making the decision and as the one on the receiving end.
However, one thing remains consistent. I always return to myself faithfully. This return is not solely an act of retreat but rather an act of devotion that serves as the truest testament to the unbreakable bond I have forged between my heart, body, soul, and mind. Through this journey, I have learned that by embracing my own complexities, I am able to appreciate the humanity that surrounds me.
During some seasons of introspection, I have come to understand that the journey within is a lifelong affair, an ongoing exploration of my dreams, fears, limits, boundaries, and aspirations. With each revelation, I have emerged more whole, with enough fuel to march to the rhythm of my own passions and desires. Honoring the depths of my being allows me to cultivate a genuine connection with the world around me“You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.”
The point is to let people go and be open to being let go. People are not yours to keep. They are merely experiences that serve as a reflection of where you are in your journey, if you're open to the lessonsThis piece was the rendition of my freedom and love intertwined. The lovemaking of looking to the past tense for hindsight. I'll never pretend that I don't look back, because I cannot afford doing that disservice to myself. Like Lot's wife - I do look back... except I immortalize all my past selves into pillars of salt to serve me in my journey, as a way to preserve comfort of the past tense. I will continue to look back to grasp onto the familiarity these lessons have served me when I need a roadmap, should similar ones come up.