“IT” GIRL
I always knew I had something special to share with the world, a lot of it got lost in the midst of childhood trauma and buried in the warm summer nights of my teenage fever dreams. I initially suppressed many fragments of myself to survive in a world that was not kind to me at first — until I started demanding respect and expecting it. The rest of what I had preserved for myself I managed to tuck it away and nurture it until I was ready to bloom into a garden of moonflower.
That was a very cheesy way to start this article about a self proclaimed IT girl. A woman who knows she has had an impact on many people by simply being herself; some who have been intrigued by her elusive nature, some who want to control her, others who try to replicate her and some who simply can’t stand the fact that they are intrigued by her so they express these emotions through rage, resentment and at times failed attempts at intimidation.
Truth is, I am no stranger to feeling like the odd one out, I have been this character for all of my life because as a child I hid and lived in my head. People have been forever enraged by not getting the power to shape my narrative or feeling like they get the right to tell me how I should live my life. Let’s go back to the beginning…
My name is Mendiana C. Merilus. I am the youngest of 4 siblings on my mother’s side; she always says I was the child she gifted to my dad so she fully intended to write this story from the very beginning. I am the only child on my father’s side. I love the beach, good food, Travel videography, photography, Art museums, documentaries, Fashion, Tearjerking novels and well crafted pairs of Italian shoes. I grew up with my grandmother, a plethora of blood relatives, my brothers and a strong matriarchy who contributed to crafting the woman that I am today (It really took a village). I was born in the middle of Port au prince, Haiti where I went to school and lived for most of my life until the age of 13… I then moved to the Dominican Republic and resided there for about 3 years. In 2014, I moved to the United States and have been living here for now 8 years.
I am a dreamer, some might say I’m delusional and crazy but despite a lot of obstacles I faced compared to most people my age. I never felt like I was a victim because I refuse to identify with this narrative. I have a strong sense of self and the aspiration for something more than a typical, ordinary life. Despite the challenges I faced in my childhood, including a fast-paced lifestyle that sometimes blurred the lines, I found solace in my hobbies and the things that I had control over. These interests helped me to develop my charm. I’ve always been intelligent with enough grace to know it and humility to not boast about it. My social presence is the gift that piqued the curiosity of those around me, and I cultivated a killer sex appeal that wasn't rooted in conventional beauty standards, with a warm smile that could light up an abyss. While my skin was darker than that of my peers, I took pride in my fashion choices, never having worn a bad outfit in my life.
3:03am - January 2023."I always wanted to be part of something bigger than myself. In a world where you can be anything, why choose average? I cannot define myself in simple terms, there isn't a box big enough to fit all of the woman that I am. Often times I struggle to answer the question "What do you want to be?" I think I'm meant to be everything that I am inspired by. Do it all and do it well; but how do you even explain that to simple minded people? much less the ones who crave to break free of external judgement and the ability to humble you.
I want to be outspoken with a cause. I want to be a pivotal point of Culture and Fashion. I want my output in this world to matter. I want to sit front row at New York, Paris and Milan Fashion week. I want to build schools for kids in all corners of the world. I want to be a Tastemaker but I also want to be a nurturing wife, a great mother and a point of successful reference for Haitian girls growing up.“ I don't think it ever hurts to dream of realities that your mind cannot even begin to grasp"- MendiI am clearly one of a breed of It girls different from what people are used to especially because the term is largely associated with celebrities or socialites with large followings and paparazzis chasing them around.
Over the years, I have managed to keep my entourage very select since navigating the social media landscape of sharing your hobbies is tricky. Most people will try to pigeonhole you into a particular narrative that fits their own comfort level and make all sorts of wild assumptions about who you are and what you stand for. As it appears to some, I’m just some girl floating around looking cool without a worry in the world. Most people fail to take into consideration that anyone they find magnetic online is sharing an extension of themselves.
The essence of influencing is a billion dollar industry because it’s banking on personalities to sell people products and shape your aspirational lifestyle goals.
Personally, from the moment I made my first instagram account, I made the conscious decision to not follow celebrities and influencers. I could not get behind the logic of keeping up with a stranger to that extent regardless of how much I admire them. I think a major part of that decision gave me a lot of breathing room to not have group thinking, curate my own personality and strictly participate in the trends that I am genuinely into. Additionally, I grew up on tumblr where reblog of Heroin chic nepo babies and the romantic sad girl engulfed my desire to crave a lifestyle that felt like a Euro chic movie.
For me, this means being intentional with the content I share, making sure it reflects who I am and what I stand for, and being mindful of how I engage with my followers. It's not just about creating a brand or image, but about sharing my authentic self and connecting with others in a meaningful way. At the end of the day, my social media presence is just one small piece of the puzzle that makes up who I am as a person.
- SUMMER 2023Developing an eclectic personality requires a long-term commitment to self-discovery, exploration, and personal growth. It involves expanding your interests, trying new things, and being open-minded to different perspectives and experiences. While social media may provide a platform for exposure and inspiration, it cannot replace the sustained effort and dedication required to develop a multifaceted personality.
